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October 09, 2024

What I’ve learned – “Build a life I love every day”

Amy’s ‘gloriously boring’ life was turned upside down in 2022 when she was diagnosed with invasive lobular breast cancer at the age of 46.

Although there are millions of people currently facing cancer, it can be a lonely experience. Not only is each cancer case different, but each patient's life beyond the waiting room is filled with unique strengths, challenges, goals, and relationships. In this series, we celebrate the people who are our patients and share what they've learned while charting their own path.


After undergoing a biopsy, Amy checked her patient portal every day, multiple times a day, until her test results were published. When she finally read the report, she found herself googling unfamiliar terms and phrases that would eventually lead her to a realization she had been dreading: she had cancer.

What did life look like for you before the diagnosis

In hindsight, it was gloriously boring. To my knowledge, at the time, I thought I was healthy. I was much more concerned about work commitments, our kids’ sports and school schedules, and fun things like making vacation plans. And everything seemed fine — until it wasn’t. I suppose my initial reaction was textbook, half wanting to throw up and the other half convinced that they mixed up the samples and were wrong. It didn’t seem possible.

The interview continues below.

Building your health care team is an important step with a cancer diagnosis. What is one tip you would share?

I would suggest talking to a few different providers and assessing your comfort level with each. Think about accessibility in terms of getting appointments and communicating with their office, as well as geographic accessibility. There will be frequent visits, and distance is a bad reason to avoid your doctor or care team. I sought many opinions and considered the ease of treatment within health systems because I didn’t want to introduce an unnecessary complication.

Was there a time you advocated for yourself during your diagnosis or treatment?

I advocated for myself by choosing a more drastic surgery than the statistics required. Some of the people in my immediate circle thought it was too extreme, some were supportive, and some wondered if it was necessary. When I did this, it felt scary because the surgery was more drastic than other options, but I honestly started to feel like my breasts were liabilities that caused unnecessary stress. With a different type of breast cancer than other people in my direct family, it was starting to feel like it was just a matter of time until another version manifested somewhere, and that is just not the type of future that I wanted.

What support did you need? What did you tell people when they wanted to help?

I found it difficult to talk about what was happening because I was so scared. It was consuming and was all I thought about for weeks, especially in the beginning while all of the tests were being conducted in order to formulate a plan. It was hard to stay focused at work and make plans for our kids and talk to family members who I didn’t want to worry unnecessarily.

It was helpful when my family/friends/caregivers/supporters gave me space to think and process the facts and respected my choices regarding a treatment plan. I was presented with various options at different points, and it was comforting to have the support of family and friends as I made choices that were very personal and maybe not what they would have chosen.

I was physically exhausted, likely from the thinking and planning that was happening behind the scenes. I appreciated people offering to help, give rides, and listen to me when I felt like I could talk about it.

How do you relate to your experience now? Has your life changed?

I don’t want the breast cancer chapter to define my existence, but I would be lying if I acted like it did not have a big impact. It had huge impact. I do have a different perspective on aging and feel a certain degree of YOLO (you only live once).  I want to enjoy the whole life experience. I suppose I always thought I had so long to live — and hopefully I do. But realizing the fragility of life and how things can change so fast has led me on a path to build a life I love every day. There is lots to do, fun to have, and no time to waste.

What would you say to someone who was recently diagnosed?

Take a breath, gather as much information as you need to make tough choices, surround yourself with people you trust, and keep moving forward.  You will have no choice but to be tough, so gear up and gather your arsenal of tools to fight.

Why do you think it's important to share your experience?

It’s important to talk about health and cancer screening because almost every woman I know gets a mammogram report indicating that they have dense breasts that are hard to image. Few people know or understand the treatment options and important studies that can increase survival rates, so the more people who know, the better.

I want to share my experience because I know how meaningful first-hand stories were for me. It made me feel better to see women who had gone through it and come out on the other side. I followed people on social media, read books about survivors, and tried to get in the right head space to get better.


This story reflects one individual’s experience and is not clinical, diagnostic, or treatment advice for any particular patient. Not every person will have the same treatment, experience, outcome, or result. The Oncotype DX Breast Recurrence Score® test is ordered by your healthcare provider. Talk to your healthcare provider about whether the Breast Recurrence Score® test may be right for you. To learn more, visit www.chemoyesorno.org. If you've used an Oncotype DX® test and are interested in sharing your story with our team, please get in touch here. We'd love to hear from you!